Destination in December.
Its my motivation now to carry on with the never - ending revision. Intense studying starting this week for me and I am scared because I now see how much I have to catch up with. Its illogical, but I felt tired by Tuesday. Like real tired. It takes a lot to be prepared for weekly tests, to finish all history outlines, to make sure that I am not lagging too far behind ( its just impossible to keep to the study plan) and I am not confident of sustaining this momentum. As it is, I am already mentally drained and it is only my fifth day of studying. Judging on how I have been screwing out my sleeping cycle these past few days just to do the minimum work, I am very certain that I will be in a terrible state after four months. Not that I am going to reorganise my lifestyle now at the expense of my revision time, I just feel that I will need a lot of stamina to endure this period and it will be shameful if I cant persevere.

I think I have taken many people for granted over the years, or failed to express my gratitude towards them due to whatever reasons. Today, when fabian ng left my house to book in, I felt a strong sense of loneliness. Well, I realise that I always enjoy my weekends, because I always have him for company, hence the sudden emptiness within me whenever he leaves. Yet, I've never once thanked him for bringing me so much joy and always being there for me. Its the same with my other friends and even my family. I always take it that people around me will know how much I treasure them and all, but then again, everyone needs reassurance. Damn, I'm in the mood to spend real quality time with each and every person i care for and love, but then I look at the notebook with all my undone work jot down and then its time to come back to reality. Now just isnt the time for any socialising. I know this may seem insincere and not as impactful, but Nicole misses all her friends and wishes to tell them how much she treasures each and everyone one of them.